You just don’t know how sorry I am

Day 13 delayed : Issue a public apology




I tried to think of a humorous apology, but nothing came to mind. I knew that if I tried too hard at it, the attempt would fall woefully flat. So here is an apology that has been in my heart for a long time.

13.5 years ago, before I met my husband, I had a very close friend who I had met through work, but who became so much more than a work friend. I was very close to her, and her husband. I spent time with them every week, usually several times a week. They were always sure to include me, and I never felt like a third wheel. We had our own special Christmas celebration each year, along with birthdays, karaoke out at the bar etc.

When I met Chris I started to spend a lot of time in Columbia with him, which cut down on our time together. As Chris and I progressed in our relationship, we went out with my friend and her husband a time or two. It did not go well. There are many things that are great about my husband, but he is not a social person. If he does not hit it off with someone right away, he tends to see no purpose in pursuing any further interaction. He did not have any interest in spending any time with my friends. So I spent less and less time with them.

I feel like SUCH a terrible person for this. These were not casual friends, they were like family to me. I had always sworn that a man would never come between me and my girlfriends. But I did not hold to my word. Whenever I think of her, I want to tell her how sorry I am, how wrong I was, and how much she and her husband did not deserve the treatment that I gave to them. I have considered writing a letter to her, but then I think that perhaps that is a selfish thing to do. I might make her think of painful things that are better left alone. I wish that I knew if apologizing to her would make her feel better. If I knew it would, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I would never want to do it to make myself feel better at the expense of her feelings. I did too much wrong in the past to risk doing more now.

So I think of her, and hope that she is happy and well, and has some friends that have been better to her than I was.

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1 Response to You just don’t know how sorry I am

  1. Gretchen says:

    Don’t mean to be pushy….have you considered adopting or taking in foster children? Take care! G

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