{"id":418,"date":"2014-02-20T22:37:42","date_gmt":"2014-02-21T02:37:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/katrynka.net\/?p=418"},"modified":"2014-02-20T22:37:42","modified_gmt":"2014-02-21T02:37:42","slug":"childless-not-by-choice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/katrynka.net\/?p=418","title":{"rendered":"Childless not by choice"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am participating in Kelly’s Korner<\/a> “Show us your life” post, today is about infertility. This is such a difficult subject for me. I can rarely write about it without crying. I can sometimes touch on it quickly during conversations without losing it, but if the conversation gets more in depth, tears are sure to fall.<\/p>\n

All my life I planned to have children. My life went very well in all areas except one. I went to college, continued on to Physical Therapy school, and after graduation got a job as a pediatric physical therapist. I bought my first new car, moved into my first apartment by myself, and brought home two cats. After about 10 years I bought my own home, fenced in the yard, and took in a stray dog. My life was full of family, friends, pets and many other wonderful things. I just never did well in the dating arena. I have never been a bar or nightclub sort. I tried various singles church events etc, but never had any luck. Finally I decided to give internet dating a try. Fairly quickly I met a great guy, but he was not sure that he wanted anymore kids (he had a daughter from a first marriage). I struggled with this, as I knew I wanted kids, but I also wanted love, and I finally decided that I did not want to give up the surety of a man I loved in the present for the possibility of children in the future, especially as I was 36 years old.<\/p>\n